Welham Jones

Funeral choices

Funerals can be made as individual as the deceased. Often based on cultural or religious beliefs they can be arranged and personalised to say goodbye to the deceased, or celebrate and give thanks for the life just passed. What follows, therefore, should be considered merely a guide to the most usual format of funerals. We will assist you in making the funeral as dignified, personal and unique as you wish.

The Cortege

The funeral party will comprise a cortege consisting of the hearse, one or more following limousines, and cars belonging to other mourners, although a hearse alone is by no means unusual. Using our limousines saves you the worry of driving and parking. Sometimes a horse-drawn hearse and carriage, or an alternate mode of transport can be appropriate.

The cortege might start at the deceased’s home, go past a place of significance or special memories, or to go directly to the place of service where you can meet it. This is often influenced by how far family and friends have to travel, where they live or where they might stay, and whether you can meet somewhere beforehand. If you choose a church service the coffin can often be ‘taken-in’ on the day before, or immediately before the funeral service.

The service
The type of funeral service you wish for the deceased might be Christian, of another faith, humanist or secular. It can be simple or ornate, private or open. A memorial service or service of thanksgiving can often reconcile the popularity of the deceased with the wish for a private funeral.

If you know what type of service you want, but do not know anyone to officiate, we can introduce someone suitable. Theoretically anyone can take a funeral service, but that can limit the venues available.

Family members are often encouraged to participate in the service and say something about the deceased, or read a favourite poem. This will be taken onboard by the officiant when he or she contacts you to discuss your particular requirements for the service and to discover some personal facts about the deceased and their life.

Church services are often more structured and, depending on the particular minister and denomination, the opportunity for personal expression can be limited. Ministers will, of course, often travel to take a service in a crematorium or cemetery chapel.

Whether in church, at a crematorium or at the graveside, the coffin is always present for the funeral service and it will, wherever permissible, be borne on the shoulders of an appropriate number of bearers. It is sometimes possible for members of the family, or close friends to carry the deceased. Please let us know if this is something you would like to do, although you should bear in mind that you will asked to accept responsibility for any injury or accident that might arise.

For the service the seats at the front are reserved for close family. Most crematoria offer the choice of the coffin being lowered from or remaining in view when committed. You will be asked your preference. At a burial, the coffin will be lowered into the grave by the bearers: Scottish cords are available.

SECULAR FUNERALS - SOME GUIDANCE
Secular funerals are an increasingly popular alternative for those who were not religious. It is advisable, but by no means necessary, to use the services of an officiant as, without the framework provided by a religious service, secular services can lack purpose or over-run. Venues for such funerals include crematoria chapels, cemetery chapels, gravesides and woodland burial sites, but obviously not churches. As a secular service is one of remembrance of the deceased, and a recollection of their life greater family input is generally required. The format of the service is very much for the family to chose, as is the amount of ritual introduced by the officiant. As a guide, a service can be structured around the following points:

A favourite piece of music can be played at the beginning of the service, whilst family and friends take their seats or gather.
The officiant will offer a welcome on behalf of the family/head of family to all present.
A eulogy will be given either by the officiant after discussion with the family, or read from a text prepared by the family or intertwined with personal input from family members. The eulogy will consist of remembrances of events, places visited and times shared.
A chosen piece of music can be played during which family letters can be read, poems recited or perhaps photographs shown.
Whilst the deceased and/or close family might not be religious there may well be some present who are, and an opportunity for private prayer can be given or the officiant can read a chosen prayer. Prayers will not be led, however.
In drawing the service to a close, a form of committal is given, maybe with music and/or a prayer to say good-bye as the catafalque curtains are drawn or the coffin is lowered into the grave.
Another favourite piece of music can be played whilst family and friends leave the chapel, move to a reception or disperse.

Personal wishes

Music plays an important role in many funeral services; favourite hymns, tunes, songs, or pieces of music. These requirements should be discussed with the officiant.

We will ask you whether you wish an organist to be present, as they often incur an additional charge.

Recorded music that you would like played can be forwarded via us; cassette tape or CD are currently the preferred formats and you should be aware that many crematoria will only play original recordings, not only for copyright reasons but also to ensure the compatibility of the recording with their equipment.

We can also arrange musicians for the service; a choir, ‘pipes and drums’, a bugler for the Last Post, or maybe a jazz band!